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I wish..

I can just disappear..   So here I am.. again. Feeling down.. again. You know how sh*tty it feels. To be at the lowest point of your life. Currently, I'm at mine. There are so many things that I keep inside. I am furious. I am frustrated. I am disappointed. I am tired. I am sad. But there's literally no one that I can talk to cuz it involves aib. Suppressing all those feelings all alone. I just want to have a good life so that I can be happy. So that I can be a great wife and mother. Ya muqallib al qulubana tsabbit qulubana ala dinik..
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school leavers.

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i am the one of them. sukanya. heheheheheh suka your head. hati gila gabra, whenever perkataan 'result' pop out in my mind in anywhere. k lantak pi dulu. so now.. just wanna share what beneficial things (for me) I do during this longggggg break. helping my mother with her biz yeah, she's saleswoman, so it's an advantage for me to extricate myself from the lifelessness by just staying in this house makan tido makan tido katanya. not much but a bit lah.  watch Running Man this, functioning as anti-aging bcs it usually makes me LOL and grinning like rotten shellfish. beneficial beneficial. lessen ketongkangpecahan of my room yeah.. the bookshelf especially. bcs, i just done one of the biggest exams of my life. have to kumpul la the books which can be used, to be tossed, and to be donated to those who deem necessary. then, tidy up the full-of-scattered-garments-also-plastic-bags-gift-wrappers wardrobe. not only able to improve my fitness but also helps me to go...
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Idk

Idk. I just.. dk. Ive prepared lots, but i presented little. I jot down notes n si.. but yknow. I spoke little. Compared to my mate. She answered most of the qstions n i was krik krik n i noticed bizzare expression of the spectators. N the saddest thing is when your closest frenz gave you the lowest points, compared to others. Outta sudden i reminisced a part of three idiots when Farhan said, "it is sad when your friend failed more than u, but it is more sad when your friend excelled but you failed." Tmrw we'll be presenting on pragmatics, thus, i want to give my best n be much more explicit. On mon, ill present bout dickens. I felt quite inferior as the prev presenters had done with great effort. They were attractive. Their slides are attractive. Within 5 mins. Im afraid i couldnt. It becomes more n more sad when you alrdy have scrpt wrtg, few research pprs, presentations to be done n u gotta write a short story asap too. Im not gonna go anywhr i thnk. I thnk ...
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